


check urself before u shrek urself

by buttpooper



Series: s&s practicing safe shrex [1]
Category: Shrek (2001)
Genre: Drinking, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bar, How Do I Tag, I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good, Kissing, M/M, Mild Smut, Self Confidence Issues, To Be Continued, also really needy, angsty, horny shrek, satan is a sneaky little shit, shrek is a cinnamon roll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:36:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6657988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttpooper/pseuds/buttpooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>shrek is a little lonely but then he has a nice encounter with satan and things get a little out of hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	check urself before u shrek urself

it's not like he is unsatisfied with his looks or has a low self-esteem. rather, he was unhappy with the way society displays him and that made him uncomfortable in his own skin. 

just one time. one time he wanted to be called pretty, beautiful, important. one time he wanted someone to look at him in complete awe, like he was the most precious and sexy thing in the world. 

but ogers aren't supposed to be sexy. shrek was very much aware of that and he would have never ever wasted a single second of his life with even thinking about the opportunity of someone being together with him in a non-platonic way and giving love to his butthole. good, maybe he thought about it once. or twice. but he just can't help it. when shrek sees all those couples who look at each other like stupid fucks who blend out the world he gets so fucking angry because it is gross and... and... really, really cute. 

so, when he first met the man with skin as red as shreks beloved tomato soup and horns on his forehead he wouldn't mind feeling far up his ass, he didn't even think about this man liking him back. he gave up on love a long time ago. maybe some people were destined to die alone. 

oh, how wrong he was. how horribly wrong the poor boy was. 

the first thing that came to shreks mind when he saw the man was "god, he looks devilish". actually, that was the whole point. the man didn't only look devilish, he was literally the devil. 

"whatup, my main bitches? dial 911, because it is about to get hot aaaaand steamy in here. satan is in the house, ladys and possible gay love interests.", he screamed as soon as he jumped into the room. 

shrek was madly, deeply in love. how on earth could one person look so stunning and pretty yet slightly terrifying? to be honest, shrek knew that he should be scared. he should freak out and simply leave his favorite bar just like all the others did as soon as satan entered the room. sadly, he got so distracted by admiring the view in front of him that he didn't even notice when the bar was suddenly almost empty. 

he snapped out of his thoughts and fixed his gaze as soon as he heard someone yell "hide all your holes!" in a quite loud tone. shrek got embarrassed by that expression and a slight blush crept up his neck. 

satan slowly approached him and his lips were only inches away from his ear shell. shrek couldn't move, couldn't even breathe properly. 

"you look gorgeous when you flush like this. what's your name, pretty baby?" 

"s-shrek" 

"what a great name. suits you so well, honey. well, it seems like we're all alone now. what do you think we could do, hmm?"

shrek almost died on the spot right there. the man he always dreamed of stood in front of him, really fucking close and kind of implied wanting to experience sexy times with him, shrek. 

"i don't know...erm... sorry", shrek answered timidly. 

"no problem, honestly. because i have a few things i can imagine us doing right now." 

satan carefully wrapped his hand around shreks neck and leaned forward to kiss him. it started out sloppy and sweet but soon satan gained more confidence due to the pretty whimpers shrek made in approval. satan stuck his tongue out slightly and waited till shrek opened his mouth a little bit to grant him entrance. 

in a matter of seconds, shrek almost choked to death. satans slender and surprisingly long tongue went up so far in shreks mouth that it almost came out of his asshole again and it slightly tickled his prostata which made shrek hiss in pleasure. 

"fuck" 

"already doing that, shreky boy. so good for me, right? my good boy." 

"ye-ugh-ah, i'm your good boy. p-please." 

shrek didn't even knew what he was begging for anymore. just something. anything. some kind of friction. 

but satan didn't obey. instead, he turned away from shrek and began talking.

"i know that good boys should be rewarded but... i already banged bob the builder today and since i am like 2000 years old i may need some viagra to get little satan up again. my dick is totally impressed by you, but he's a little shy and i'm afraid it will not be special enough if i stick my friend up your poopy hole right now. let's take our time, okay? you may be the one for me."

shrek was on the verge of tears as satan finished his speech. he has never in his life before heard someone directing such loving words towards him. 

maybe satan was right. maybe they should wait and make their first buttsex an unique experience and slowly explore each others bodies. 

"y-yes, satan. i will wait. i would always wait for you."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not sick, it's just that the idea of satan being a sensible and empathetic lover is my aesthetic. 
> 
> also idk how to speak english properly.


End file.
